[Josée's Note: I have a confession to make about this diary entry. 30% (maybe) of it was not written post E4. In fact, I have only just completed it now. I found it difficult to write about the approach of the battle, and it put me off writing Lunetta's diary for a while. Still, it is complete now, but with the sad result that I can't remember what I did post-battle. Still, here is Lunetta's diary from September last year.]
Autumn
377YE – Anvil : Friday
Much of the past month or so has been spent
preparing for the wake of Matthias and Reynard. I think everything is in order,
ready for Saturday. I can only pray that this torrential rain eases off before
it. The weather has been unkind to us for the past week or so, so we may be
holding this wake in a tent, rather than outside as I had hoped. Still, that is
to come. I created some books to help my brothers and sisters of faith to focus
on the abilities that the Way gives us. I have had some interest from across
the Empire, so I am intending to visit as many of the priests who ordered one
as possible this evening.
-----
I met with Ifan Nighthaven on my travels – I
had encountered him briefly when last in Anvil, and had dined with the
Nighthaven group most evenings. He is a determined Night Mage, interested in
the value of Ilium in the eyes of the Eternals, and trying to find a way of
producing Ilium. We had a few conversations; he is a lovely gentleman, if
almost too focussed on his research. I visited most of the camps I could and
gave the books to their respective owners. Everyone seemed pleased with the
quality, even if they weren’t waterproof! As I returned to the Carta
Bellamarina, a Cambion came by, asking about the wake. I had not encountered
him before, so introduced myself and told him when it would be occurring. He
seemed determined to appear at the wake, which was wonderful. I am glad my
fears were wrong; that Matthias and Reynard really had reached out and touched
the hearts of others. Felix was his name. I hope he is able to attend.
-----
I returned to Nighthaven to eat, sitting with
Ifan and Tock, while Keirion traded with many other travellers entering their
tent. It has been a lovely evening, but I feel tiredness beginning to creep in.
I will retire to bed shortly, I must be in the best way I can for the wake
tomorrow evening.
The wake…ending a chapter not meant to end yet.
Lunetta.
Autumn
377YE – Anvil : Saturday
I awoke in a far better mood than I had
expected to. Today is going to be a hard day, I know that, but to wake to
sunshine and a cooling breeze, rather than rain and overcast skies was a
pleasure. Matthias and Reynard must be as determined as I am for this wake to
go well – it seems as good a reason as any for the skies to clear as much as
they have…and I’d like to think they are within the Labyrinth, if they are not
already walking amongst us again, watching out for those they cared for in
life.
-----
As I walked back from breakfast with the
Nighthaven group, I encountered a young woman, shouting that exorcisms of
curses from the battlefield were required at the portal. Handily, Tock had also
appeared, so I asked him to join me at the portal. As we arrived, there were a
few members of Wintermark and the Imperial Orcs that seemed disorientated and
confused. I exorcised one gentleman before being beckoned over with haste by
one of the Imperial Orcs. They seemed to have sustained many curses upon their
number. There was a plan hatched to get all the Orcs involved into the Pit so
that Tock, myself, and a priest and priestess from Dawn could exorcise them one
by one. We were warned, though, that Liao and Orcs do not necessarily do well
together. We were told that they can react badly, in a violent manner, to the
use of Liao. Bearing this, rather concerning information in mind, Tock and I
entered the Pit while the other priests dealt with the remaining few in the
tent. Tock exorcised two orcs (one of whom was being distracted by Stormcrow
Gralka) while I exorcised a battle healer and a Chaplain.
The Chaplain, Atla, was firstly female and not
male (causing me much embarrassment as I realised!) and secondly was truly
lovely. She reimbursed me the liao spent on exorcising the curse from her, and
then explained how she had no issue with giving liao to those using it for a
virtuous reason for the good of the Empire, but took umbridge with those
looking to use it purely for their own gain. I very much enjoyed talking to her,
and cannot wait to enter the Orc camp again, knowing I now have friends amongst
them. I have wanted to interact with them for some time, but they have an issue
with lone wanderers approaching them. Tock says that it is because, in Orc
culture, to be alone means you have been cast out of your family; your group.
To be cast out as such you must be a felon of some kind, meaning that lone
wanderers are viewed with distrust and hostility. If it is true, then it would
explain the Orcs dislike of wanderers and lone adventurers.
I also realised while I was in the camp that I
had been asked to hand two sets of my priestly books to Stormcrow Gralka. As I
did so, she told me of how the written word and stories were all the Orcs had
had of their own as slaves. She herself is writing tales of heroes and warriors
and wondered if she could swap a book for a book, as it seems that the Orcs
receive less coin than most of the other nations. The thought of receiving such
a gift from Gralka was slightly overwhelming, and I accepted with haste. I
cannot wait to see her writings in the Winter, it is wonderfully exciting!
-----
I continued around Anvil, trying to give out
the rest of my books, running into Concordia and having a conversation with
Maryam in the Four Rivers Theatre about how best to organise the wake, and
eventually ended up back at the Nighthaven camp. The Dawnish priest I had
worked with to exorcise the Orcs came by, asking for Tock’s icon of exorcism
for the following morning. Noting he had worked with me, he asked for my
assistance. Of course, I agreed…and then realised he meant on the battlefield.
I was suddenly filled with an awful sense of worry, dread and panic.
I don’t own any armour. I don’t own any
weapons. I don’t know how to fight. I don’t know how to defend. Matthias and
Reynard were seasoned fighters, punching well above their weight…and well…they
are no longer with us. All in all, this seems like a dire situation. I don’t
know what to do. I can’t go back to the Dawnish priest and tell him I can’t fight
alongside him; I have a loyalty to the Empire I must fulfil…but if I enter that
battlefield…I’m not going to return.
I need to talk to Ifan – he seems level-headed
when it comes to these sorts of situations. I am sure he must be nearby.
-----
Ifan was…somewhat more upset by the idea of me
entering the battlefield than I had expected. He took me straight back to
Nighthaven and spoke to Keirion, who proceeded to outfit me with magical armour
and weaponry. Giacomo, another member of their group took me outside and began
to teach me some basic blocking and attacking moves, making it clear that I
should only be aiming to defend, chancing rebuttal blows rarely. “Get on the
battlefield safely, come off the battlefield safely” was his mantra to me.
It was during this hour of training I sustained
my first injury, cutting myself on the heavy chain mail I was wearing as I
hadn’t moved my sword arm far enough away. I didn’t even notice. Giacomo
stopped and then wiped the blood off my finger before I noticed I had injured
myself.
Time had moved on, and the scheduled time for
the wake was approaching. With a sense of unease and great sorrow, I began my
journey to the Carta Bellamarina to get the camp set up for a gathering of I
knew not how many.
-----
On arrival, Gaspar was making tea and the table
and chairs were spread around the table as per usual. There were nibbles and
snacks on the table, and it looked too…cluttered for a peaceful wake.
Concordia, the good Doctor and I began to shift food and chairs away from the table,
and Gaspar brought out goblets and began pouring tea as the rest of the mourners
arrived.
I gathered the veil I had made in the time I
spent back in Sarvos while preaching to my congregation there. I had searched
high and low for material that was understated; I wanted my veil to be
handmade; every stitch representing a split second of my time with Reynard and
Matthias. I wanted the red and blue of the Carta Bellamarina to be there, and
it seemed fitting, given that Matthias often wore blue and Reynard often wore
red. I wanted it to be personal, and bold; something out-of-place; something
unusual. I wanted people to take note of the fact that it was required for a
reason, and not just another piece of “League adornment”.
As I placed the veil over my head, a small
gathering of ten or twelve people had formed. I thought rather than having two
separate candles, one tall, strong candle would fit the duo better. They were
brothers in everything but blood, and to separate them even in symbol felt wrong.
I could not have prayed for a better evening to
remember their legacies. The sky was a perfect, clear blue, and Csongor, the
accordionist played beautiful haunting – but not sombre – music. Maryam helped
the tales of Reynard and Matthias flow, and Csongor had produced a short poem
on their behalf. I know that Csongor had not known them well, but his poem
truly captured their brotherhood and friendship.
However, Felix caught my eye most of all. He
had managed to attend, and had brought flowers in tribute. It wasn’t this that
made me sit and take note of his attendance though. That came about during the brief
period of reflecting on our memories of the two of them. When I mentioned how
Matthias had told me of how he had wanted no family as he was a soldier and
would die, and didn’t want to leave anyone behind, Felix nodded, and was in as
much emotional turmoil as I was. He didn’t nod in a particularly noticeable way
to those who weren’t in a state of particularly heightened emotion, I imagine,
but I noticed. No-one else took any note of that memory more than any other,
but Felix had. I wasn’t in a particularly good place to ask of it, given the
fact that I wasn’t containing my emotions very well at all, but I do hope to
meet him again before too long, to ask him the one question I need answered:
How close was he to them; to Matthias, especially?
I wasn’t holding myself together very well at
all, but I was trying. But as soon as the good Doctor handed the candle to me
as “it is only right that you extinguish the candle”…I couldn’t even pretend
that I was maybe anything close to alright. The shaking façade collapsed, and
as I extinguished the candle, I collapsed into tears. It was closure, but it
felt awful anyway.
After the wake, I returned to Nighthaven and spoke
to Ifan once more, and…it was at this point I found myself struggling to speak
without crying. I didn’t expect the wake to hit me as hard as it did. I began
to feel my usually bright and determined exterior collapsing around me, and
found myself yelling at him. I could hear my voice as if I were an onlooker,
high and shrill, telling him it was clear that I would die on the battlefield;
that if Matthias and Reynard couldn’t survive I had no hope of doing so.
Despite my outbursts, I found myself brought close to his chest, the fur on his
overcoat calming and warm. How I cried.
We went to go to the tavern, but I had
forgotten of the Loyalty Assembly’s meeting that had been arranged, after our election
of our Cardinal. Cursing at myself for being so thrown by the wake, I dashed
across to the Hub, and took part in the discussions, keenly aware that I needed
to focus on preparing for the battle ahead. I aided in the symbolic testimonial
on our new Cardinal – who just had to be Jared.
I don’t recall whether or not I have spoken
much of my relationship with Jared, so in a nutshell: I adore him. He is so
gentle, so softly spoken, calm and unshakeable. He is the Steward of the Dead for
the Suns of Couros and was such great help in my most desperate time of need.
When I found out Matthias and Reynard were dead, he was the one I ran to in
confusion, pain and desperation. He had no issue with taking me away from the crowds,
asking about how I felt; where I saw my path leading me, and then gently
encouraging with his quiet, gentle, soothing words. He convinced me to trust in
my faith when my faith was close to lost, and to carry Reynard and Matthias
with me, to my new ministries, wherever they occurred. Jared has earned my
rightful respect and loyalty. He is indeed a virtuous man, and one I have been
very much honoured to have met.
This caused me something of an issue in the
vote. Most people would probably have suggested (at least within the League)
that I should have voted for Julian, the ex-Cardinal who only lost his position
originally because he was unable to join us at Anvil last gathering, but Jared
had supported me in a way no other had and had been wonderful about everything.
I think it is probably clear who I voted for.
After our meeting, I returned to eat with Ifan
and the Nighthaven again, and Giacomo took me out to spar for a short time once
again. I returned to the Bellamarina and asked if anyone had a buckler I could
borrow, and was directed to the Four Rivers Theatre, where Maryam resided. One
of her fellow actors lent me his buckler – rounded at the edges to catch
blades, and I explained my reasons for entering the field. They made me promise
to return safely.
I returned to the Bellamarina for a short
while. They mentioned the flower tribute Felix had left for Matthias and
Reynard, and how they hoped they could continue this each future gathering. I
promised that should I come across him, I would let him know of the impact his
small token had made on the Bellamarina as a whole.
I write now as I retire to bed, worried and
alone. I can only hope that tomorrow I will not join Reynard and Matthias in
the Labyrinth.
Lunetta.
Autumn
377YE – Anvil : Sunday
I awoke early this morning, an odd assortment
of chainmail, leather, sword and buckler laid on my dressing table. My sleep
had been fitful and marred with the memory of Cormac’s words as he returned
through the portal. I forced myself to eat what little I could stomach, and
dressed, as ready as I could be for battle.
It took me aback, the number of people who
stopped me to make me promise I would return, or to tell me “don’t die out
there” or “come back safely”. Their concern was touching but it did nothing for
my nerves. All-in-all there must have been around ten or eleven people who
stopped me. Unfortunately I was unable to find Felix before I was required to
join the rest of The League who were mustering near the portal.
I have been told to join the Compagnia di Rossi
for the time being and to keep myself with them. I only hope I survive long
enough to write in here once more.
Lunetta.
-----
I…survived.
Somehow…I…survived.
Tock almost bowled me over when he saw me
return through the portal. I wasn’t going to complain, though – his embrace was
truly appreciated. I hadn’t expected anyone’s reaction to be quite so
emotionally charged.
As I walked away from the portal, I spotted
Felix. Still in my chainmail, aching from the weight, I ran to him. He seemed
subdued, but smiled when I passed Concordia’s message to him. We didn’t get
much time to converse as he was busy on an errand while I needed to get changed
back into my normal clothes. His subdued nature and previous appearance at the
wake struck me, and I found myself once again wondering about his connection to
my fallen friends.
I returned the buckler and met the Bellamarina,
who – in a far more reserved way than Tock – were glad to see me back. I
returned to the Nighthaven camp, and gave the sword, trousers and chainmail
back. Ifan embraced me much like Tock had, and was greatly relieved that I had
returned. Giacomo offered to continue teaching me how to fight, which I
appreciated, and I gratefully accepted the offer.
I remember very little of what happened after
this…I know I spent some time with Ifan and the Nighthaven steading, but my
mind kept focussing back on the battle. I think I was distracted and distant
from most people after that…I found myself in something of a personal quandary.
You see…on that battlefield…
There was so much disloyalty. So very, very
much.
I tried, to the best of my abilities, to stay
with the Compagnia di Rossi, which was far easier said than done. I told them I
was a priest, whose sole role was to aid in the healing of Imperial forces who
were spiritually wounded. This was taken on-board…until we actually reached the
main field of battle.
We were ambushed by archers in the woods. I
didn’t stand and defend as the comments of those back in Anvil rang in my head;
Giacomo’s ditty: “Get on the battlefield safely, come off the battlefield
safely” was very prominent indeed, and I found myself mentally calling on
Matthias and Reynard for courage and determination. I regret not standing
alongside my fellow Leaguesmen and women, but I doubt I could have aided them.
Indeed, I fear I would only have been a hindrance.
When we got to the main field of battle, it was
already chaos. Whatever I was meant to have helped stop summoning was already
summoned and the other nations seemed to be struggling. Trying to figure out
who was in command was difficult if not completely impossible. As soon as we
joined the rest of the nations, I was pushed to the frontline, due to the
armour I wore.
One of the Barbarian Orcs seemed to spot me in
the frontline, and took it upon himself to taunt me. The gentleman stood next
to me told me not to pay attention, but we were both cut short when someone
behind us told us to step aside. Doing as I was told, the speaker (an archer)
launched an arrow in the Orc’s direction, hitting him, perfectly timed, across
his rear, as he wiggled it in our direction. It must have woken the Barbarian up,
though, as he stopped taunting, and seemed far quieter afterwards!
A dragonesque creature was running along the
frontlines and making mad dashes towards us at points. I was unlucky and struck
by its claw. A feeling of nausea and dizziness overcame me, and it was only due
to the quick thinking of a warrior nearby that I was given an antidote in
fantastically quick time.
There was a call for priests about
three-quarters of the way through, so I followed the Dawnish warrior calling.
The call seemed to stop suddenly, though, and I was left amongst some of the
Dawnish warriors, far away from where I had originally been.
I made my way back to the League and this was
when I began to hear things that set me on edge. A group of Dawnish warriors
were attempting to retreat. The bravos stood near me began to heckle and chant
at them, rebuking them for running, and laughing as Orcs began to encircle
them. Shocked at their sudden lack of concern for their fellow warriors, I
stepped back, out of the fray. A Dawnish gentleman ran across and shouted at
the Bravos, and then pleaded for their aid. Some went, others laughed and
ignored them. I have never seen such brazen displays of wilful ignorance and
disloyalty to fellow nations. It made me sick to be associated with those who
would call out such things. In Anvil we were allies; heckling each other yes,
but allies nevertheless. Yet here, where it mattered most a Nation, my
Nation had let another down, and goaded them while their warriors were being
slaughtered.
The battle line began to move to the aid of the
Dawnish, and we too were given the order to retreat. As we neared the forest, a
Dawnish gentleman caught my eye. He was pleading for a priest to exorcise his
companion. I rushed across, glad to finally be doing something I was
good at. We removed him from the front line and I stood with him. He said the
colour of the world was fading away, that there was no colour left in the
world. I had heard of the two curses that were being seen back in Anvil, and I
believed that this particular curse had the effect of eventually killing its
sufferer. With this in mind, I pulled one of my vials of liao from my pouch and
focussed.
In some ways, the exorcism reminded me of the
good in my own life; the colours and vitality seen in my own days. “Think.” I
remember saying. “Think of the colours of your comrades’ clothes. Think of the
colours of your standard and banner; the loyalties and friendships it stands
for and signifies.” I myself began to think of the Bellamarina, Matthias and
Reynard…the blue and red of the banners and the gold of Concordia’s horns.
Over time, the warrior began to return to his senses,
which I was truly relieved to see. His companion thanked me, and I ran to join
my comrades in the forest. I do not know who that warrior was, nor who he has
to thank for getting my attention. I am just glad that in some small way I
played my part in the protection of the Empire…and in keeping someone safe.
Another gentleman offered me a sip of water as I walked along. I introduced
myself and I found myself in the company of the Cardinal of Courage. I joked
that it seemed fitting to meet such a person on my return from the battlefield.
I have much to think on from my short time on
the battlefield…but I think it is safe to say that I will return to it someday
soon. There is much to learn in such a place that is usually well-hidden or
almost invisible in Anvil. I doubt I would have seen the disloyalty I saw had I
kept away as I had originally intended.
So once again I find myself on the return from
Anvil with much to think about. I intend to write Felix a letter soon, and make
proper contact with him that way. I hope that I may find a friend in him, and
he in me. We have both, it seems, suffered much in recent nights. I only hope
he does not push me away or consider me to be intruding. Still…I suppose if you
never try…you never know.
Lunetta.
No comments:
Post a Comment